The Golden Rule
by Nicktooner
Summary: Have the books left out some serious information? Let's say some Lucians who have already discovered all current clues? Yes they have, and in this version of Book 7, discover the truth about the books...and the Madrigals. Based in the Philippines
1. Stupid Books

**The 39 Clues: The Golden Rule**

A fanfiction by Andrew Mencias

"Stupid books….I hate them so!" Miguel complained as he slammed _The Maze of Bones _on the floor.

"I mean seriously! We were there! We had more to do with this contest than Snotty Uncle Alistair and Steroid Holts and those homosexual Starlings! Heck, we had more to do with than Amy and Dan did!

To Hell with it, to Hell with it, to Hell with it!!!" he screamed

Jose was angry too, the writers of books 1-6 mixed everything up.

Sure, the characters and setting were correct, but practically everything in the storyline is bogus!

However, being the less temper-mental brother, Jose tried to calm Miguel down.

After all, in any second, Miguel's ADHD could light up the anger, and that anger could light up Jose's ADHD.

"Come on man, remember they're racist AND Janus. They always try to decrease the number of people they hate without leaving them out totally. Namely Filipinos and Lucians." He said with a pat on the back.

"Sides, every dog gets his day. We'll have ours."

Miguel sighed, his twin brother was right.

"Spare only Rick Riordan…even if he started it all…he created _Percy Jackson _and that's a good enough excuse not to kill him with poisoned bolo knifes."

After that very humbling episode, Jose and Miguel set off for the library so they could see if anything would have to do with the current Madagascar episode without actually going to Antananarivo and then finding out the clue isn't there and then wasting another few Benjamin Franklins on a plane ride to Azerbaijan or something.

"Jose, there's nothing on Malagasy treasures or clues or anything to do with the Philosopher's stone."

Miguel slapped his face in disbelief.

He felt so angry that they went to the library for nothing.

"Miguel don't get mad" Jose said as he tried to calm him down "Sheesh, you're supposed to be the calm one. 'Sides, I found something else that's very important. And it's about our very own mother Philippines. Also, if you're mad we went to the library for nothing, the other guys went to Madagascar for nothing….except of course, Amy and Dan….I wonder what branch they are."

Now the anger from Miguel's ADHD-filled face was converting into sweat.

"Wh-wh-what about the Philippines did you find?"

"Before I tell you" Miguel said "I want you to understand that Grace set us up in a pattern. Whatever country we're 'destined' to go to next, involves a certain family branch. So, usually if the clue isn't where you're looking for…it's most likely in a country of the same branch, or the rivaling branch."

"You're point?" Miguel asked

"Madagascar is a Janus country, so it makes perfect sense that the next clue is in the Philippines, a Janus country. That's how I found the book on the Yamashita gold."

"I get it" Miguel said rubbing his chin now he could realize why so many people hate him here. He's a Lucian while the country is Janus and so is President Arroyo.

"So, the next clue involves the Yamashita treasure, which involves Marcos, which involves Martial law, which involves the clue?" Miguel asked for clarification.

"Dude, you just summarized our whole adventure."

And they left for Malacañang palace.


	2. Those Gullible Holts

**Chapter 2**

As Miguel and Jose packed their stuff with their beagle Tagpi by their side, the turned-on television flashed a report about some American dude attacking a Barangay in Manila looking for something.

However, they didn't pay much mind to that.

Once they arrived in Manila, everywhere they went, there were rallies of _iskwaters _(poor people) looking for certain people.

They had axes in their hands and the smell of incense and sweat trickling on their faces.

To any foreigner, death was imminent.

Ignorant groups of ragged Filipinos only had one goal _"Patayin ang mga Amerikano!"_

Whether or not the person they attacked was American or not, everyone, even other Filipinos were attacked.

Jose and Miguel steered through the crowd like nobody's business, watching people get beaten here and there. Being Lucians, of course, they didn't mind.

However, right before they reached the steps of Malacanang, something caught their legs.

"You stay down….those guys are crackpots." A big and robust teenager said.

It was Hamilton Holt.

"You do know, we're Filipinos too right?" Miguel exclaimed angrily

"That's how much you know!" Madison Holt complained

"Do you want us to throw you into the crowd?" Jose growled

"Whatever, we could beat them up anyway." Reagan boasted

"Then why did you choose to stay down?" Miguel and Jose said simultaneously.

There was no response from the Holt children, just a bark from Arnold, whose mouth was foaming, while Tagpi snarled at him as well.

"Anyway, why aren't your parents here?" Miguel asked

"They were looking for the clue, but after a really weak punch, hit the measly barangay captain, he got KOd pretty well." Reagan said

"So why did you pull us down?" Jose asked also

"We need you to communicate to the locals for us and say it's just a misunderstanding." Hamilton said softly.

"Alright…let's get out of this ditch, Miguel."

"Agreed."

Once they started talking to the locals, Miguel and Jose told them where the Holts were hiding, and obviously, the _iskwaters _raged towards them furiously.

As Miguel, Jose and Tagpi stepped on to the steps of Malacnang, they heard the Holt kids shouting "You suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Pretty short, this has not a lot to do with the story except for making the Holts angrier and the Holt parents angry too once they come around.


	3. Talking Devices, Bathrooms and Madrigals

**CHAPTER 3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the 39 Clues, nor the right to say the books are wrong, the right to call the authors racist against Pinoys. This is all just Lucian fun from my mad genius brain.**

**I also don't claim anybody as any branch or Philippine politicians involved in the 39 Clues or them being evil, yadda, yadda, yadda**

**I also apologize to members/supporters of the Nacionalista party. Why? Read the story and find out…it's not against the Nacionalistas though.**

Jose and Miguel thought that, being Lucians, they could get in a Presidential palace without breaking confidence or a sweat.

But, in fact, they were very wrong.

Senator Villar had a keen sense of smell; he adapted to life in the Philippines and its different smells; he could even sense fear.

Two of those scents that Manny Villar could smell were dogs and metal; and when combined, made an entirely different aroma which if he sensed were totally new and foul.

Coincidentally, while Manny Villar was having a conference with President Arroyo; Jose, Miguel and Tagpi were sneaking around looking for anything that would lead to the clue.

Manny Villar's sensitive nose easily tracked down a foul odor which he had never faced before.

In his paranoid trance, he felt uranium being the closest thing to the weird disgusting decomposing material that he was picking up.

"President Arroyo…I can smell a revolting scent" he said with his deep voice

"It smells wet, rotten, and burning."

"I agree" President Arroyo mocked "You didn't shower today noh?"

She laughed as she coughed and phlegm spat out, no matter how hard she tried though, she was not the best comedian.

Manny Villar did not take the joke with a smile, instead he asked, with an angry face and a hand covering the mouth "Permission to leave ma'am"

"Whatever." Gloria said, only focusing on how much makeup she needed to put on her mole.

Villar searched everywhere, when finally, he reached the bathroom where Jose and Miguel stopped for a moment to pee.

Manny Villar was not the only one with senses, Tagpi had extrasensory smell like him too.

With the metallic device around Tagpi's neck that translates his thoughts (kinda like Dug from Up), Tagpi said _"Naaamoy ko ang isang Madrigal." _(I am smelling one Madrigal)

Right as he said that, at the most untimely moment, Manny Villar needed to pee.

Yes, that's why I apologized to Nacionalista fans, cause Villar is a Madrigal.

Also, I know my facts aren't so straight like Gloria Arroyo talking with Manny Villar which is kinda unlikely, so critics who look through all the details, please shut it.


	4. A Dog Reveals Everything

**Chapter 4**

At the sound of the word "Madrigal", three heads turned.

Manny Villar slid through the dirt of the bathroom floor going up to the two kids.

"My nose followed me here, I knew something smelled fishy. Two kids and a dog sneaking in Malacañang Palace" he laughed.

Suddenly, his cheerful grin turned to a solid frown with his teeth in grit.

"How did you get in?" he asked angrily

"Um…." Jose stuttered "Funny story, we came in searching for something."

"What is that something young man?" Villar asked

"It has something to do with our family; you see we're searching for some…"

Before Jose could continue, Miguel cupped over his mouth and said

"Heirlooms, sir, very precious heirlooms. They're…um…made of different materials." Miguel added and they both smiled a smile saying 'Oh God, we are terrible at lying'.

At that moment, Manny Villar would've asked them a question but Tagpi's voice put all the chips on the table.

"Actually" said Tagpi's speaker "We are searching for clues. So far we have found 23 clues. The search led us to places like Croatia, France, the United States and even India."

"And…" Manny Villar said "What is a _Madrigal_?"

Tagpi looked over at Jose and Miguel as they started crossing their hands to signal "no".

"I am not allowed to tell you Senator. But you smell like a Madrigal." Tagpi jolted.

Jose and Miguel slapped their faces in disbelief.

"Oh" Manny Villar laughed "Well you know ya little dog….I am a Madrigal."

Tagpi barked while looking at Miguel and Jose "Is this where we run?"

"Yes." They conceded as the Senator brought out a gun.

As they ran away, Manny Villar shot a huge ball of red energy and it fired at a wall.

All Miguel and Jose could see were explosions firing out of the Presidential Home.

To them, they didn't mind, but because of that explosion, Ferdinand Marcos' original portrait at the Palace was ripped, and the clue would be much harder to find.


End file.
